Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
