do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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