Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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