I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
