So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
