He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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