Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just high enough for therapy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
