Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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