someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
