I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
