Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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