I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
