Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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