Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
