Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
