My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
