the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
