Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
