just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
