My nipple is on Facebook.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I lost the right to judge tonight
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
