fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need to calm my uterus...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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