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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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• (619): View more from California

  His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Vodka?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Forever.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.

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• (510): View more from California

  Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.

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