Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
