hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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