Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
