bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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