I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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