thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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