At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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