So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We just shotgunned beers for America
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wow bdsm is so cute
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