Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
