Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
