I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
