I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
