I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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