hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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