My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
