he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
