I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
