Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
