road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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