called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
