I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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