how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
