It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I party with great urgency now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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