its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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