Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
