I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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