so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
