last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
