I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
